Have I read the book?: Maybe. I remember the cover.
Most valuable character: Billy, I guess. He's a bit insufferable.
Feed them to Sabre: Larry
Opening scene
A bus drives along a winding road in the middle of the forest, before suddenly stopping. A man, with no sense of fashion gets out of the bus followed by a group of confused children. He begins unloading the bus without saying a word to the children who are frantically asking him "Where is the camp?". He finishes unloading the bus,climbs back in, and takes off.
Yes. Just abandon these annoying brats in the middle of the woods, sounds like a plan. He probably has better things to do, like going to buy more Hawaiian shirts from Walmart. The kids start speculating on their imminent demise.
Blond babyface:(sulkily) No one's ever going to find us out here!
Black kid with baseball bat: Don't be such a baby
Striped shirt kid that's obviously the lead character: Keep cool guys.
Whoa. Thanks for those words of wisdom lead character. We've just been abandoned in the woods, but sure, we'll keep cool. Suddenly they hear some growling from the woods, and the kids start to panic a bit- except for Billy (Lead Character)- he starts acting all brave and trying to tell the other kids to stay calm. It's easy to stay calm when you're the lead in a kid's horror show- nothing is going to happen to you!
Enter the 26th President of the United States
Suddenly there's an explosion and the reincarnation of Teddy Roosevelt is standing behind the kids. He introduces himself as Uncle Al, Camp director of Camp Nightmoon and tells them to watch out for Sabre. He doesn't elaborate, just tells the kids that as long as they keep to the trails, it won't bother them. He leads them into camp, which is a mile walk in from that drop-off point.
As the kids start walking we witness a budding romance between Billy and this girl named Dawn. They talk a little about why Billy is at the camp (His parents are scientists who go on expeditions and usually ditch him with his aunt and uncle, and why Dawn is at the camp (My parents looked into a lot of camps, but Nightmoon is supposed to be the best!) Then they immediately split the boys and girls up, sending the girls to a camp across the lake. So much for their budding romance.
The Rules of Camp Nightmoon
1.No leaving your bunks at night
2. The girls camp is completely out of bounds
3. Lights out at 9, wake up at 6
4. YOU WRITE HOME TO YOUR PARENTS EVERY DAY!
*Bonus Rule*
Don't go into the Forbidden Bunk... Why? IT'S FORBIDDEN!
Sounds pretty straightforward, and totally murders that budding romance I mentioned previously.
But I digress.
The boys start getting settled into their cabin and bunks. Billy finds a bit of graffiti over his bunk that says "Sabre is Hungry" and asks this boy in sunglasses about Sabre. The kid tells Billy that no one knows much, but apparently Sabre got two kids last year . Before Billy can ask more, the blond baby-faced kid from before (His name is Michael) starts whimpering in pain. Everyone rushes over to find that he's been bitten by a snake that was on his bed. They wrap the snake in a bedsheet and toss it out the window.
Larry: Napoleon Dynamite's mean younger brother
Their counsellor walks in at that point and goes "WHO THREW A SHEET OUT THE WINDOW?" The boys ask him if he's their counsellor and he introduces himself as Larry and repeats his question about the sheet being thrown out the window. They tell him about Mike getting bitten by a snake and Mike tries to show him the wound.
"EW! Get that out of my face! I just ate! I might have a bandage or something!"
The boys insist that Michael needs to see a nurse, but Larry tells them there is no nurse. Larry sends them to wash off the bite and to wrap it in gauze.
Yup. That's going to help
Campfire: Featuring a really out of tune Camp song
It cuts to later that night when all the kids are grouped around the campfire singing the camp song with Uncle Al.The camp song is awful, not just because it's out of tune- it contains the line "Coddlers and whiners are not welcome here, Nightmoon is for big kids, there is no place for fear!" Meanwhile Billy goes to check on Mike and his snakebite. Mike tells Billy that his arm is now completely numb,
Uncle Al notices that Billy and Mike were talking during the camp song and calls them out. Billy explains the situation and Uncle Al takes a look at Mike's arm.
Things seem like they are going to get better because Uncle Al admonishes Larry for not telling him about Mike's injury, and then tells Mike that it will be fine.
"All the swelling and the pain will be gone by morning...Trust me."
(Famous last words)
He commends Billy in front of all the other campers for trying to help a friend and the boys head to bed.
Gone by Morning
Uncle Al was right and the pain and swelling were gone by morning! The catch is: So was Mike. There is no trace of Mike other than a pile of bandages in front of the cabin door. When Billy makes the mistake of asking Larry where Mike is, Larry mockingly replies to him saying that he might have gone home and then snickers. Billy tries to press for more information but Larry just makes snide comments about Billy being a whiner.
The other boys in the bunk try to reassure Billy that Mike was probably sent home. but Billy is not convinced.
A Strike
The scene cuts to the boys playing a game of baseball. Sunglasses (Colin) is up at bat, and ends up getting to first base with a quick punt. The next up at bat is Billy but he hesitates to step up to the plate, preferring to ask Uncle Al, who's playing Umpire what happened to Mike. Uncle Al waves his questions away telling him not to make mountains out of molehills and instructs him to step up to the plate and have fun. Sure. Your friend disappearing in the middle of the night after being injured is nothing to worry about... Especially when Uncle Al had to be reminded of who Mike was.
In any case, Billy steps up to the plate and hits the ball pretty hard. Colin rounds second base and manages to steal third. Larry tries tagging him after the fact but Uncle Al sides with Colin and lets the base be stolen. Larry is visibly pissed and throws his glove on the ground. When the next batter punts the ball, Larry manages to catch it while Colin runs for third. Larry sees his opportunity for revenge and for such a lanky jerk, he's got one heck of a throwing arm. He wheels up and throws the ball so hard he hits Colin in the head and Colin goes down HARD, We're shown that there's a sizable dent in the baseball helmet.
After the blow, Colin is barely able to stand, but Uncle Al insists that Colin's fine and tells the rest of bunk 4 to get ready for survival night. Their bunk is going to be sleeping under the stars (A camp Nightmoon tradition) and they need to start setting up tents.
Nothing is said to Larry for his attempted homicide.
Survival Night
Cut to later that night in the tent."Dear Mom and Dad..." Billy writes, and says that he's having a weird time at camp. He tells them that Larry's a jerk but Uncle Al seems Ok and then signs it off by invalidating what's been going on by saying that it's his first time at camp so he might be overreacting.
Suddenly the two other boys from bunk 4 (Jay and Roger) bust in and try to convince Billy to go to the forbidden bunk with them. Billy declines, opting to stay with Colin, who's still kind of out of it.
Later on Billy wakes up to the sound of growling. He races outside to find Jay in a panic. Jay tells Billy that something got Roger, and they have to get back to the bunk. Billy says he's not leaving Colin, and they run back to the tent. Colin sits up enough to tell them that "Sabre's coming" and "Sabre's hungry" and apparently that uses all of Colin's energy and he passes out again.
Billy and Jay carry Colin back to the bunk running as fast as they can. They just make into their bunk and under some blankets when the door busts open and they scream.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Rating: 3/5- even though the story technically isn't finished
My biggest beef: That Larry wasn't eaten by Sabre... pity.
Moral of the Story: Adults either act like they care or don't, but probably don't care.
